Spring break forever, bitches.

STORY BY Talia Aroshas

Published: April 6, 2013

A few short weeks ago, a little hyped up movie by the name of Spring Breakers was released to theatres nationwide. Starring in it is a plethora of extremely intoxicated real-live spring breakers, a creeptastically gangsta -fabulous James Franco, and three itty-bitty bikinis as worn by previously innocent child actresses.

As it were, and like most of America, I found myself conspicuously curious as to why this movie was being referred to as a “cult film of our generation.” And more importantly, how they managed to bring James Franco on board a film where his main costars were Vanessa Hudgens and that blonde girl from Pretty Little Liars. That being said, after seeing it, I still don’t know.

Written and directed by the controversially creative Harmony Korine, the film was nothing short of refreshingly atypical from start to finish---I’ll give it that. The plot, in general, is unpredictable, unfathomable, and quite startling. However, this is counteracted by its repetitive narration, dragged out senseless scenes, and ultimately un -cathartic climax. Additionally, I found the movie’s mantra spring break forever, as spoken by James Franco in his unspecified piercing accent, haunting my sleep in only the most negative way.

Seated next to my best friend, who unlike me, has absolutely no patience for faltering attempts at entertainment, I found myself turning my head to her every 5-8 minutes as we simultaneously rolled our eyes.

To save you some time and money, I have written a brief summary of highly intellectual crap shoot.

Four badass young college girls find themselves bored in school and stuck in a small dead-end town.  Their biggest dream is to escape for spring break and head down to sunny Saint Petersburg, Florida. However, when they realize they do not have enough money to get themselves there, they make the rash decision to do something very illegal and morally wrong.  With their newfound fortune in hand, they take a bus to the alcoholic holy land, party like rockstars, and get arrested, all while wearing bikinis. However, it not until they are bailed out by a strange white rapper with a tattoo of a dollar sign on his neck, that the real trouble begins. Hold on to your guns, gentlemen, and never trust a lady in a bikini.

If that doesn’t do, just watch the trailer for it on Youtube. Then you’ve pretty much seen the movie.

However, not all things brought about by this movie are negative. For instance, I very much enjoyed Jame’s Franco’s rendition of Britney Spear’s “Everytime,” was moved by Vanessa Hudgen’s believing ability to rob a big black man at water gun-point, and laughed rapturously during Selena Gomez’s interview on David Letterman during which she called out ex, Justin Bieber, in only the classiest, and wittiest of ways.

Spring break forever, bitches. 

Other Stories by Talia Aroshas
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