Kingett Reads Fifty Shades of Grey - Part 3

STORY BY Robert W. Kingett

Published: August 9, 2013

In chapters 9 through 12 we meet Christian’s mom, and oh, my god! Anna actually acts NORMAL! But why? No one knows! Intrigued? It's time for Kingett Reads Fifty Shades of Grey.

I'm going to be honest here when I utter this next sentence. Take stark note because this is EXACTLY how I feel. Ready? Here it comes!

I am BEYOND CONFUSED as to why these chapters are even in here other than for Anna to ask herself if she really wishes to become a submissive.

Here's a very brief summary of the chapters.

In chapter 9, Anna does oral sex.

In chapter 10, we meet Christian’s mother and they have a talk about… how Grey is doing? The reason that's written as a question means I want to try to wheedle out the answer in this review.

In Chapter 11 Anna is under the stalkers radar as she gets a MacBook Pro just so they can send emails to each other playfully alluding to sex all the while, contradicting Anna's feelings, and the exact questions that she poses at the beginning of the chapter and within previous chapters as well. In addition, she does BDSM research.

In chapter 12, Anna boots Grey out of her life even though she calls it a joke and Grey fucks her into submission, making a very healthy relationship filled with two consenting adults, yes! The romance novel of the year, people! It’s all right here!

I'm utterly amazed, but I'm not amazed at the characters or even how crazy Grey gets within these chapters. well he does get creepy at the end but that part won’t come until a bit later in this review. I'm amazed at all the empty space. I know, I'm using the wrong term because text fills these chapters, margin to margin, but I don't understand the basis for these chapters, at all. There isn't any for chapters 9 and 10. Actually, all of them. I've just read empty space.

What I mean by empty space is that Anna just does things and says things that don't seem to have a point, especially when she contradicts what she says in these chapters. When Anna researches submission in chapter 11 that at least, has some basis and purpose. these beginning chapters don't do much separately. They could have just as easily been fitted into another chapter and the book would be cut for the better.

Once you set everything up, as well as the characters usually after the main conflict as presented one would think about exploring some character depth. Sure, in these chapters we get the reason why Grey is who he is but there's just entire sections that don't have any purpose. Someone might tell me that this is an erotic book; it's not supposed to read like traditional literature. If they actually did type that to me or think about typing that to me, they'd be both right and wrong for one simple reason. It's a book, just like all the rest. It should have been edited and designed with careful hands. Respect the story as well as the readers who read the material. Don't just have empty sex scenes to get me aroused, please. Have some back-story, have a point to the sex. An erotica book can be as sexual as the author wishes, and I understand that but when you just have open sex scenes with no depth behind them then I have just, quite literally, wasted my time. It's the same concept as watching two people have sex when I could be emailing or writing an essay.

In chapter 9, Anna has oral sex, and I don't learn nothing other than Anna has a gag reflex. I don't learn anything about Grey or about his past in this chapter.

The author tries to display the story conflict again that these two are a couple that work their issues out but there's no basis behind it either because Anna is flippant. Example, she's making breakfast and Grey just stands there and watches her. She becomes flustered, and snaps at Grey. Grey then demands that they sit down and talk about his contract when Anna has this weird thought.

What does he mean by that? Our negotiations? Our, er ... relationship ... whatever that is? He's still so cryptic. I serve up the breakfast onto the heated plates and lay them on the placemats. I hunt in the refrigerator and find some maple syrup.

I don't understand how she thinks, period. I don’t get her. Perhaps if she had a better-woven character such as Anna felt invisible all her life so she needs to be controlled, deep down, would actually be better than what I have at this moment.

I don't have ANYTHING! I don't have any reason why Anna likes the submission and then hates it two pages later. Why does she like it? why does she hate it? Why does she ask all these questions to the reader but then never even tries to answer them, and why does she hate Kate asking her questions so much? Seriously, unexpectedly, Anna has this thought after she has made breakfast and Kate calls her because she didn't answer texts.

That is going to be one difficult square to circle. She's so tenacious, she wants to know--in detail, and I can't tell her

I actually can understand that bit because she's scared of what Grey would do if she breaks their contract that she can't tell anyone about the BDSM, but if she's never had any experience like this and if this makes her so uncomfortable then why does she go ahead with it? Why? Why? Why? Why? I can't ask that enough! WHY?

I like that Anna stands up for herself in these chapters but why? I don't understand why she doesn't want to be controlled, but she does like to be controlled, but she doesn't? Why does the Red Room of pain scare her but Grey spanking her turn her on? Why DOES she HAVE THOUGHTS LIKE this?????? This shouldn’t be happening! I should know these answers by now!

"Christian, with all due respect ..." My voice fades. I can't ask you. I'll get your biased, kinky-as-hell, distorted worldview regarding sex. I want an impartial opinion. "It's just about mechanics. I won't mention the Red Room of Pain."

I admire her but I don't understand why she's saying these kinds of things to his face and then willingly has sex with him. I don't understand! Anyway, I think I should stop trying to make sense out of Anna and write about a weird sentence that just made me give a dumb look towards the book. Grey and Anna are in the tub, naked when Grey says this weird line…

"I want you to become well acquainted, on first name terms if you will, with my favorite and most cherished part of my body. I'm very attached to this."

What makes it so weird is that there isn't even a name mentioned. Grey doesn't give his penis a name and neither does Anna so I don't understand why that was in here either.

HUIHGAIIUGAUYUFYTADDRDA! PLOMPHHUHAYFTDALEJPOKOOUOO8Ypercentagepercentage!

Chapter 10 is just as confusing. Chapter 9 ends with Grey having to stop sex because his mother knocks on the door. When I began the chapter, I was excited to see what kind of character development the appearance of his mother would bring. I wanted to see it, I really did but when it actually happened… I didn't understand what was going on or even why it was happening. The author, through this scene, re enforces the notion that Grey has never even had a girlfriend and has never slept with a woman before but previous chapters did that, so why is this goddamn chapter even here? This makes me genuinely angry when a theme is beaten over my head as if I'm a dimwitted child. There's no basis for the visit, at all, other than for Grey to say that he's never introduced a woman to his mother…

I kind of fucking figured that out when you told us, Grey that you didn't really have a girlfriend just Submissive’s. Why is the author rehashing old tools? I don't understand this! Someone please help! I don't understand this at all! Why is this happening when I knew it ALREADY?????? Please help me.

Anyway, they sit down and talk about… how Grey is doing? Then she gets up and leaves? She doesn't talk to Anna. Why? Why don't they talk about something meaningful? I don't know, and I don't think I will ever know. There IS however, a revelation as to why Grey is the way that he is.

"Sort of." His voice is wary. He frowns for a moment and seems to be engaged in some kind of internal struggle. Then he glances up, a decision made. "One of my mother's friends seduced me when I was fifteen."

This is huge character depth. Obviously, Grey didn't have control as a child so he is compensating for it. What’s confusing is that Anna doesn't empathize with him, she uses this information to state, once again, that Grey is a huge control freak. James doesn't even explore the feelings that Anna has about hearing this news. She doesn't even say how or why Anna feels the way she feels. There isn't an explanation to make me understand the actions. Anna just feels because that's it. This kind of trait would work if Anna weren’t the protagonist. She is, and if I don't know why she thinks the way she does or why she does the things she does then how in the hell am I supposed to actually sympathize with her or even understand her when she does things or says things? I'm an outsider, completely lost on what the story is about now because character explanations are not given by way of Anna. Grey has a reason and he acts on his issues, making them believable. Anna just does to do things and I don't know why. Have I said that enough yet?

Some people might tell me it's because of Grey’s looks and money. Back in my earlier reviews, I've expressed how unhealthy that is. That isn't love, that's lust. If that's the case, by the way, Anna should know that there are men suited for her first time romance and that what she's feeling is lust. She's read many books so if that were the case, it would add some depth to the story if she smartly examined this. She doesn't so it's just an empty plot. I'm sensing there's a lot underneath but I'm not getting ANYTHING above the surface hormone factor.

In Chapter 11 Anna comes home, and she gets angry with Kate, and says this weird bit when Kate asks about Grey.

"I'm glad you're back in one piece. There's something about Christian," she adds quietly, apologetically. I give her a small, reassuring smile--all the while thinking ...How does she know? This is what will make her a great journalist, her unfaltering intuition.

Why are you telling us that Kate’s a journalist? Is this relevant now? I don't understand. Why are you also beating it over our heads that Kate asks questions, therefore she's a journalist? This is weird!

Anna reads the contract, and she gets a new laptop. They, Anna and Grey, have a flirty email session after Anna calls him a psycho before the computer arrives, just after she read the contract. Again, these chapters would be most effective if Anna would actually analyze her own feelings instead of asking us, the readers, as if we're having a conversation. Please stop asking us why you feel this way, Anna. I don't know.

in chapter Anna does BDSM research, and then she jokingly tells Grey that it was nice knowing him, I don't know how that could EVER be taken as a joke but Grey shows up and, quite literally, fucks her into submission. This is a direct violation of PRIVACY Grey! Having control issues is one thing but this is privacy… she indicated that she didn't want to see you so you show up at her house. I don't understand how this is sexy. I don't understand why he's in love with her, either. I don't understand many things, and I'm in the middle of the book. Why does he find her so hot apart from her bottom lip, which he tells her to constantly stop biting? I'm going to ask this again just to make sure the confusion is understood…

Why WERE THESE CHAPTERS IN HERE? What did I gain from reading them? Nothing! Good books have reasons for chapters. Events happen in the chapters, information is given, or a new idea is given to an old question but nothing happened, nothing was explored. This book is slowly loosing me by the tail. I hope something is explained to me soon because I really want to have a point to this relationship. Otherwise, I'll be angry that the definition of an abusive relationship lives without a systemic logical purpose for both parties. I'm reading these chapters begging for reasons, not answers to plot holes. That's worse than having plot holes because life has plot holes but everyone should have a reason why they do or say things. Without a reason, I'm wondering why their relationship even exists and in order for me to enjoy a book reason has to be answered. Perhaps I'm asking too soon and more will come in the next chapters but for now, the questionable reasons to actions these characters do hold back the promise, for me, anyway.

Other Stories by Robert W. Kingett
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